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Health Care Reform

Posted by Daniel Neff on Sunday, January 24, 2010 3:43:42 PM
 

With the results of the special senate election in Massachusetts, the current health care reform bill is probably dead. We are certain to hear attacks from the radical left: “Conservatives don’t want health care reform”, “Conservatives are satisfied with the status quo”, "Conservatives want people to die in the street". This is one conservative who is NOT satisfied with the current health care system in this country. I just don’t want the “health care reform” bill that the Democrats have been trying to push through. A "health care reform" bill that will increase our debt, give special favors to certain groups and politicians, and won't ensure health care for all is not the kind of change I want to see.

You hear from the liberal media that conservatives have not offered any solutions to health care reform. That is an outright lie: there have been many proposals put forth by conservatives. The truth is that Democrats in congress have completely ignored Republicans and refused to include them in discussions (because from the beginning the Democrats knew they had a majority and didn’t need any Republican votes to pass their bill). Perhaps the Democrats will include the Republicans in negotiations now.

 

Emergency health care is already available to all. Legally, hospitals cannot turn down an individual needing emergency treatment for any reason (including an inability to pay). Doctors and nurses, for the most part, are compassionate people and wouldn't turn anyone away even if it were legal. So no one is dying in the street because they lack health care insurance (that is a lie propagated by some individuals to argue their case for universal health care). When I had cancer in 2000, I had no health care insurance. Thanks to a Catholic Hospital, and a state program in Florida, I came out of a long battle with cancer owing just a couple thousand dollars in medical bills.

 

1        I did not have health care insurance.

2        I was not denied care and left to die in the street.

3        I was not relegated to financial ruin.

 

Health care insurance is not a constitutionally guaranteed right; it is not a civil right. Health care insurance is a service, and it is a choice for many people. All senior citizens are guaranteed health care insurance. All people under a certain income are guaranteed health care insurance. That just leaves citizens under the age of 65, who make more than a certain income (a figure the government sets), and whose job doesn’t provide health care insurance, without health care insurance. The vast majority of the people who “can’t afford” health care insurance are making a choice to "not afford" it.

1        Do they have a cell phone? How much do they pay per month?

2        Do they have cable or satellite TV? How much do they pay per month?

3        Do they smoke or drink? How much do they spend per month?

4        Do they go out to eat or to clubs often? How much do they spend per month?

5        Have they eliminated everything from their budget that is not a (true) necessity?  

I am not judging these individuals for having these luxuries (we all have things in our lives we don’t need), but the point is: they are making the personal choice to have these things instead of health care insurance. Furthermore, using taxpayer dollars to pay for health care insurance for these individuals is tantamount to paying for the luxuries in their life: their cell phone, TV, cigarettes and/or alcohol, night life. Individuals should have the freedom to choose these things, but the fruit of other people’s labor should not be stolen to pay for them.

 

So what do we do to reform health care in America? I’m glad you asked. Here are a few ideas from a common citizen.

 

Changes to Current Health Care 

  • Tort Reform. Let’s get this one out of the way first. Why? Because most people agree that this one (which would actually help lower costs) won’t ever happen. Whether things are as sinister as the movie “The Firm” (where anyone opposing these greedy lawyers will end up becoming shark food in the Cayman Islands), or because most politicians get big payoffs from trial lawyers; I don’t see tort reform happening. Therefore, doctors will still have to pay HUGE malpractice insurance premiums; and doctors will continue to order unnecessary tests to cover their butts in case of a lawsuit. President Obama promised things would be different if he were elected president. He promised an end to “business as usual” in Washington. Why doesn’t President Obama demand that tort reform be included in any health care reform legislation?

 

  • Portability. Do not allow health care plans to be tied to employers. You should be able to take your health care insurance with you when you leave a job (while continuing to pay the same premium: like car insurance). Anyone who has ever lost a job knows that the Cobra option is a joke. How is someone supposed to pay over a thousand dollars a month for health care insurance when they just lost their job? If health care insurance were not tied to employers, people would be free to choose the health care plan they want.

 

  • Pre-existing conditions: there should be some allowance for someone with a pre-existing condition to get health care insurance. Of course, a higher premium (and possibly deductible) would be appropriate, since there is an implied cost of care going in, but it should no be so high as to be prohibitive.

 

  • No restrictions along state lines. People should be able to shop for health care insurance without limitation: this would lower cost through competition.

 

  • There should absolutely be no taxes on health care plans (whether you belong to a union or not).

 

  • No requirement to carry health insurance. This is one issue which rankles more people than any other issue. This sounds like something from 20th century communist Russia. No unconstitutional laws requiring health care insurance. No penalty or tax on individuals who do not carry health insurance.

 

  • We need changes to FDA regulations regarding alternative/holistic drugs and treatments. As someone who almost died from cancer (more specifically the chemotherapy used to treat cancer), but then turned to an alternative treatment and is alive and well nine years later, I believe there needs to be a loosening of the restrictions on alternative treatments. Let the individual decide how they want to treat their illness. I funny it curious that chemotherapy (which poisons the body) is just fine with the FDA, but alternative methods that don’t poison the body are not allowed.

 

 

I would say there are very few people in this country who believe the current state of health care is acceptable. Most of us agree there need to be changes. However, that does not mean that we need to send our country deeper into debt and invoke massive federal government expansion. It is true that the rising cost of health care needs to be addressed. The current proposed legislation does not address the rising costs of health care; in fact some argue that it will contribute to rising costs. The current proposed legislation does not guarantee coverage to everyone. Wasn’t that the point? The current proposed legislation strips citizens of basic freedom, gives special favors in order to garner votes, fails to insure all citizens, and adds a trillion dollars to our national debt (that is just the estimate, wait until reality kicks in and we see the actual impact).

To quote Senator-elect Scott Brown, “We can do better!”

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An Oppressive Government

Posted by Daniel Neff on Wednesday, January 06, 2010 12:21:56 PM
There are a couple of recent stories that have prompted these thoughts and observations. Of course there are many similar stories happening across this land every day, but these two really caught my attention. Partly because I am a parent, and partly because I have worked closely with state family and children services (having worked in the teen residential group home field for years).
One story occurred in Arizona. A couple’s three daughters (ages 5, 4 and 1 ½) were taken from them by Child Protective Services. The offense? A Wal-Mart employee’s report that there were pictures of the girls in the bath that showed partial views of their private parts. These images were on a memory stick that had been dropped off so that pictures could be printed off.
The other story, more recent, occurred in Georgia. This time, these unbelievable ogres of parents (read sarcasm here) had the audacity to make small tattoos of crosses on their children’s hand. While the children were originally removed from the home, they are now back with the parents until the case goes to court. The mother claims that the tattoos only go into the first layer of skin and therefore are not permanent.
What has this country come to? Should we really have a state entity with the unlimited power to seize children at any time at their own discretion? While I think it is necessary to have provisions in place to protect children in extreme circumstances, do we really want the state having this absolute power over OUR children? The problem here is that this is a slippery slope. In the first case you could argue that parents should be very careful about taking compromising pictures of their children, especially in this time of rampant perversion and evil. In the second case, you could argue that we can’t have people marking their children’s bodies, even if the children want it. (I wonder, would those tyrants, err, I mean child protective officers, have objected if the tattoos were of “Twilight“ or “Harry Potter“ characters? Hmm.) But what is next? What if your children object to going to church, and the neighbor overhears and reports you? Do you want some state officer coming and taking your children from you because you are taking them to church against their will, poisoning their minds (remember, it’s all up to the discretion of this Gestapo-like official)? What if Universal Health Care is implemented, and to control costs of health care, healthier eating practices become recommended (mandated)? Do you want someone coming into your house and taking your children because you had the unmitigated gall to let your kids have cookies or ice cream. This all may sound fantastic, but it is very possible.  In the case of the little girls in the shower, are you telling me the state officers couldn’t have examined the pictures, talked the parents, used some judgment before ripping these kids from their parents? Was this not a knee-jerk reaction? We should have safeguards in place so that this cannot happen.
What would the founding father have done, if this sort of thing had happened in their time. For anyone who has seen the terrific miniseries, “John Adams”, what do think John Adams would have done if his kids were taken from him because some British official objected to a painting of his daughter? What would Abigail have done?
We have drifted far away from the republic our founders set up (in breaking away from a  tyrannical government not completely unlike what we are living under today). There is a lot of talk these days about the fear that we are drifting towards socialism. There is talk that we need to nip it in the bud; that we need to stem this tide and stop the creep towards socialism. Well, we’re almost there already. We don’t need to stem the tide, we need to reverse it. We need an all out strategy to strip away most of the big government that we have allowed to evolve. The problem is that it didn’t happen in one fell swoop overnight. It happened bit by bit, over many years. And we let it happen. We let it happen by not standing up and objecting to every step.
Used to be, when I read the following quote by George Washington, I thought he was referring to the past (his past). 

 “The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments”,

I now believe that he was referring to the shackles that people were already accepting, so soon after breaking free from Great Britain. The funny thing is, while the people hated having a king tell them what they could or couldn’t do, most people are uncomfortable being solely responsible for their own security and welfare. Most people want the government to take care of them and are willing to sacrifice just about anything to have that security. Historically it seems, civilizations go through this cycle. They continue to yield more and more power to the state, until they become subject to absolute despotism. Then after some measure of time, when people become fed up enough with living in fear and bondage, the people revolt, overthrow their tyrants, and establish a new government. And the whole process begins anew. 
There seems to be a growing resistance to this oppressive government. Maybe that American Spirit that has been passed down from the founding fathers will encourage people to fight this march to socialism. Perhaps we will see a refounding of this nation, and it will be better than it ever was. Sadly, this disintegration will probably continue. And in some distant future history classroom, kids will learn about this period in history. They will learn that these were the last days of the United States of America. They will learn about how the United States eventually lapsed into complete tyranny, and many years later, after much misery and contempt, there was a bloody revolt, and a new America was established.

  • He(They) has called together legislative bodies at places (times) unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

  • For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent

  • He(They) has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

Are these observations on the current state of affairs? No, these are excerpts from the Declaration of Independence. Are we like George Washington said, going to patiently submit to these burdens? Or is the America Spirit going to rise up and, like Thomas Jefferson, “swear upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man”?

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In 2010 I Resolve To ...

Posted by Daniel Neff on Friday, January 01, 2010 9:37:10 AM
As 2009 fades into the past, and a new year comes upon us,  it is time for that annual tradition: New Year’s Resolutions. Everyone makes their list of things they want to change: things they want to start doing, or stop doing. Some people resolve to lose weight. Some people resolve to stop smoking. Each of has that thing (or things) that we want to change in our life, yet never seem to be able to. So we make a “New Year’s Resolution(s)”. Now we’ll finally lose that weight, or stop smoking, because we have made a resolution(s). Sometimes we make it for months, other times we stumble in the first week of the new year, but inevitably, we fail to follow through on our resolution(s). We are left frustrated; feeling like a failure. We go on with life as before and file away that resolution for another year.
 
Why do we only make resolutions at the start of a new year? Is it because the start of a new year makes us think of new beginnings, a fresh start? Or is it just “the thing to do”? Everyone is talking about their New Year’s Resolutions so we feel obligated to make our own list. Perhaps it is a combination of the two. But why make a list of New Year’s Resolutions if we know that it is futile? Some people are dogged in their determination: even though they have tried and failed, they still make New Year’s Resolutions every year. Personally, I gave up making New Year’s Resolutions years ago, because I grew tired of the folly of making a list I knew that I could not follow through on.
 
Why is it that our New Year’s Resolutions never seem to stick? Perhaps it is because they don’t really come from the heart. We are only making our list because it is the thing to do. Everyone is making a list, so I have to make one. What if, on July 1st, you come to the conclusion that you need to lose weight. If you realize that if you don’t get into shape, you might not live to see 40 (or 50, or whatever), why not make your resolution then and there and act on it. That is the key, rather than having an epiphany and taking action, we are given a form and told to fill in the blanks. So we oblige with a list of things we want to change, and we resolve to make those changes in our life.
We have it backwards. We need to make a resolution when we become aware of the need to change, not when someone else (or a certain time of year) tells us to come up with one.
 
You can have your New Year’s Resolutions, but as for me, I resolve to refuse to make a list of New Year’s Resolutions. I resolve that when I come to the realization that something in my life needs to change, I will resolve then and there to start to change it. Life is too short to put off our resolutions until the next New Year.
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Live in the Moment

Posted by Daniel Neff on Wednesday, December 30, 2009 11:45:04 AM

In the first Star Wars movie, “Episode IV”, Yoda makes the following remark about the young Luke Skywalker, “All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh.”.

Doesn’t that describe most of us? Time travel movies, psychics, even the Weather Channel bear this out. We look to the future for adventure, excitement; those things that our lives lack. We are bored with our lives, so we look to the future and imagine what it might hold. Maybe we’ll win the lottery and retire in style. The single person imagines meeting that perfect mate, getting married and living happily ever after. (Unfortunately, some married people do this as well.) The disgruntled worker dreams about getting that perfect job that will make him happy.

I often complain to my wife (much to her dismay) about the Weather Channel and their forecasts. I wonder why the Weather Channel is so popular and successful when they are wrong so much of the time. Is it because of our desire to know the future? We want to know what the weather is going to be like next week. Will we have snow? How much? Is it going to rain the day I want to play golf? It doesn’t matter how often they are wrong, we still go back looking for our local forecast. As late as Wednesday (the week before Christmas), here in western North Carolina, they were calling for a rain/snow mix on Friday, nothing to get excited about. By Saturday morning we had 14 inches of snow. It’s a good thing I didn’t make plans based on their forecast.

One of the most sure-fire formulas for a movie premise is time travel. You can have bad actors, poor production quality and cheesy special effects, but if the story is about time travel, people will watch. People love the idea of being able to know the future (or going back to the past and changing things so that they will have a different present). There have been many movies made about time travel, but one of my favorites is an independent film you may not have heard of. The movie is called “Primer”. “Primer” was made by a first time, independent film maker, on a budget of $7000; yet it is one of the most imaginative, well made movies I have seen. Basically, it is about two engineers who invent a time machine by accident while trying to invent a marketable electronic device. While the movie is interesting on many levels, perhaps the most intriguing aspect is the portrayal of the two main characters and how they react to this newfound power. In this movie, the time travelers are not able to travel into the future, but they are able to go back in time (as long as their machine has been running) and essentially alter their present until they get it right. (Reliving each day, or several days if the machine has been on that long.) As you might expect, this has progressively more disastrous results. As things unravel, one character recognizes the folly of controlling one’s future (playing God if you will) and opts out, while the other character continues on this path, thinking he will eventually “get it right”.

I think the lesson to be learned here is that we aren’t supposed to know what happens next. We are supposed to live in the moment. Learn from past mistakes (as well as successes)? Yes. Establish goals and dreams and work hard to achieve them? Yes. But leave the rest up to the One who hung the stars and created life. Jesus said, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for today is its own trouble.”

We all want to be prescient: we want to know where we are going, what life holds in store for us. Sometimes we get so preoccupied with that focus that we forget to live in the moment. Life passes us by while we dwell on what we will be doing tomorrow, or next week, or next year. While it may seem very strange, I think the time in my life when I was most focused on living in the moment was when I had cancer. I did not know what my future held (only God knew), and I was too immersed in the present to dwell on the past. Each day I was completely absorbed with that day: my treatment, my wife, my son. I didn’t make a conscious decision to live in the moment, I feel like my situation forced me to do that. Or maybe it was God’s grace, freeing me from worries while I went through that ordeal. Whatever the reason, there was a real peace in my heart as I completely trusted God and just lived in the moment. I think we would all do well to live in the moment at all times. Enjoy your family, your friends, your job; enjoy today, tomorrow will worry about itself.
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Why Oh Why Didn’t I Take The Blue Pill?

Posted by Daniel Neff on Monday, December 28, 2009 4:15:34 PM
For those of you who missed “The Matrix” or didn’t understand it, let me explain. Okay, most of us didn’t fully understand The Matrix, but I’m referring to the scene where Morpheus offers two pills to Neo. One pill, the blue pill, will allow Neo to return to his life as was, with no knowledge of the truth or their meeting. He will be completely oblivious to the truth and his close brush with enlightenment. Neo will go back to his life as a computer programmer and producer of black market computer programs. The other pill, the red pill, will remove Neo from the matrix and allow him to see things as they really are. Neo will be able to see and understand the matrix. Neo will know the truth. The catch? Once he takes the red pill, Neo cannot go back to life as he knew it.

In this analogy, the blue pill refers to the state of mind that congress and big government is honorable and forthright and really cares about the best interests of the people. In this scenario, one believes, that with the rare exception, representatives and senators are statesmen who have integrity and  seek to serve the people. We can trust them to run our country and be immune to temptation and evil. These men refuse to have their vote and their influence bought off with money and power. We live in a utopian society where we are free to live, be free, and pursue happiness.

The red pill refers to the state of mind where one has become cognizant of the reality of Washington D.C. Or as Mike Church likes to call it, “Mordor on the Potomac” (Mordor being that fictional land in J.R.R. Tolkien’s trilogy, “Lord of the Rings”. The word has two meanings from Tolkien’s two elf languages, “Black Land” and “Land of Shadow”. Possibly a bit of hyperbole in referring to Washington, but the more I become aware of the corruption of these people, the more apropos it seems.) In this scenario, one realizes that the vast majority of congressmen are corrupt and greedy and care little about what is right. Whether they were like that when they ran for office, or a spell came over them when they crossed the Potomac, it is undeniable that they do not have the best interests of the people at heart. For some, greed motivates them. For others, their driving motivation is keeping their position, and all the perks that go with it. They will do whatever will keep them in Washington, the will and welfare of the people be damned. For still others, their power and influence gives them the opportunity and wherewithal to indulge in all their basest lusts. 

Therefore, having been enlightened about the truth, what do we do now? Do we hold tea parties and rallies and let our representatives know how we feel? While that has some effect, those who take such action are hindered by two things. One, a media that is seems to be in the tank for the current congress and administration. Anyone who protests what Washington is doing is labeled racist and/or a tea bagging redneck. The other stumbling block is the fact that most congressmen have this elitist mentality that deludes them into thinking that they are smarter and wiser than any of their constituents. They know what you need, even if you don’t. And they are going to ram it down your throat, even if you tell them not to. After all, they are a Lord over you, right? No? They work for you? Somebody needs to let them know. Do we run for office ourselves? Is it possible to get elected without the connections and finances that these people possess? If we are able to get elected, will we fall victim to the spell of the Potomac once we cross over into Mordor on the Potomac? Or do we try to put it out of our minds, make the best of our lives, and just comfort ourselves with the knowledge that God has it all under control. Maybe we should just build a bonfire, gather round and hold hands, and sing “He’s got the whole world in His hands”.

Why oh why didn’t I take the blue pill?!

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It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Posted by Daniel Neff on Tuesday, December 22, 2009 2:05:00 PM
At least that is what the song says. It's the holiday season. Years ago this comprised Thanksgiving, through Christmas, ending with New Year's. Now it's all about Christmas, and the secular aspect of it to boot. The word Christmas, comes from the old English, and literally means “Christ's Mass”. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ the Messiah. But for most, Christmas is only about lights and snowmen and trees. And gifts, more shopping takes place during this time of year than any other. 
Once upon a time, it was taboo to put out Christmas decorations or play Christmas carols before Thanksgiving. Now, stores start putting out Christmas items in October; and radio stations start playing Christmas carols in early November. Thanksgiving has largely become a forgotten holiday. We are too anxious for Christmas to get here to stop and give thanks.
So with all this focus on the festive time of Christmas; and thoughts of Santa and Frosty and Christmas lights; everyone should be full of joy, right? That's what one would think, but my observations tell a different story. I was shopping at our local Stuff Mart the other day to do my part to support the Chinese economy, and I was struck by the endless parade of miserable faces. And this seems to be a recurring phenomenon. Of course, everyone has a bad day now and then: but that could not explain what I witnessed. The odds of everyone having their bad day on the same day and that being on the day I crossed their path; well I would need to consult Dr. Charles Epps for the answer to that (reference to the TV show Numb3rs). Maybe it's the economy you may say; perhaps they are among the unemployed. While it can be tough to be unemployed, especially at this time of year (I know, I became unemployed at Thanksgiving), that alone should not make a person miserable. Maybe those people need to read my previous blog on counting your blessings.
Perhaps, all this focus on Santa and Frosty and lights and decorations is the reason for the malaise. While all these things are fun and a part of our Christmas celebration, they are not the reason for the season. Santa cannot give you peace or joy when you lose your job. Frosty cannot comfort you when the doctor tells you it's cancer. All the Christmas lights in the world can't illuminate a soul that is dark and lost.
Enjoy that Christmas Dinner, have some eggnog, sing some Christmas carols. Celebrate Frosty and Santa and Rudolph; just don't forget the reason for the season:

Do not be afraid, for behold I bring you tidings of great joy which will be to all people.
For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.
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Count Your Blessings

Posted by Daniel Neff on Sunday, December 20, 2009 9:47:20 AM
 
   Count your blessings. I know it is a cliché, and especially at this time of year, but it probably bears repeating at this time of year more than any other. Unless you have been living in a cave for the last 30 years, you're aware that the suicide rate is very high during the holiday season. The reasons for this are probably many, but for the most part, people think that their life is lacking in comparison to other's lives. People who are alone in their life, become more acutely aware of that solitude during the holidays. Everyone else (it seems) has a family and big plans to gather with extended family for a joyous Christmas celebration. The lonely person is only looking forward to a canned ham, a bottle of wine, and “It's a Wonderful Life” on TV. They will probably skip “It's a Wonderful Life” though, either because it hits to close to home, or the ending seems too unreal. I can relate to that person, because even though I have a beautiful family now (a lovely wife, Linda and 10 year old son, Daniel), I spent many Christmases all alone.
   This Christmas we are counting our blessings. I have a wonderful wife and the best little boy in the world. We are unemployed, but we are freed from a stressful situation, working with troubled teenagers and working for an inept organization. Since part of the compensation for that job was an attached apartment, we were essentially made homeless. However, a friend from church is letting us use her cozy two bedroom cabin in the foothills until we get back on our feet. We have a wood burning stove, all the wood we can burn, and all the peace and quiet we can stand. The cabin is an enchanting retreat in the woods, and a blessing (both from God and our friend at church). Our 11 month old crazy ball of fur Golden Retriever, also known as Johnny Bud, is in dog heaven. He has acres of woods to explore, and several dogs in the neighborhood to explore and play with.
   Because of our employment situation, we don't have a lot of money to spend on Christmas, but we have each other, our health, and our God. He has said He is our provider, and He will never leave us nor forsake us. I believe that counting your blessing is a choice. We are making the choice to count our blessings.
   I am reminded of a Christmas season a few years ago (nine to be exact), that would give a person a reason to complain, if ever there was one. I was six months into treatment for cancer, and things weren't going well. I had an open lung biopsy (my second in six months) to confirm if it was still cancer in my lungs. I expired on the operating table and had to be revived. The biopsy revealed it was still cancer. I spent 21 of 31 days that December in a hospital room. It was looking like that would be my last Christmas. We didn't have much money for Christmas, couldn't travel or host family in our home, some would say we didn't have any blessing to count. Though my condition was grave, I was able to talk my doctor into letting me go home on the 24th, and come back into the hospital the morning of the 26th. 
   I was still alive; I got to spend Christmas at home with Linda and Daniel (22 months old at the time) and our 6 year-old Golden Retriever Dusty; We had a tree, a few presents, food on the table, and a roof over our heads. And we had our God who will never leave us nor forsake us. We chose to count our blessings.
   Counting your blessings is a choice; it is up to you whether you count your blessings or moan and complain. Some people would say, “but you don't know my situation.” While that is true, there is always someone who is in worse shape than you are. And the truth, the secret, to all of this is: complaining about your situation won't change your situation. Counting your blessings won't necessarily change your situation either (though some would argue it will, power of positive thinking and all that), but counting your blessings will improve your attitude and feelings. You can be in the situation you're in and be miserable and bitter; or you can be in the situation you're in and be happy and content. The choice is yours.
   You always have blessings you can count. It's up to you.
 
You may be wondering what is the rest of the story in regards to my cancer. It is a long story, and to get it all you'll have to buy the book (yes there is one coming). To make a long story short, I had to turn to an alternative treatment, but here I am 9 years later, alive and doing well.
 
 
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Let it Snow Let it Snow Let it Snow

Posted by Daniel Neff on Friday, December 18, 2009 12:28:54 PM
Is there anything more beautiful than softly falling snow? Or a drab, bland landscape of dormant trees and grey tones transformed into a winter wonderland covered in a blanket of white? Personally, I can’t get enough of the white stuff. We lived in Maine for 4 years, and nearly every year the ground was covered in a mantle of white from December until March. One year, the snow banks on the side the street (from the plows) reached about 4 feet high. I went cross country skiing, played in it with my son, had a little fun in our Ford Bronco. We had snowball fights and built snow forts. 
I just don’t understand some people’s bitter reaction to snow. I know driving in the snow can be treacherous and there is the shoveling and the accompanying cold weather, but you have to take the bad with the good. Everything in this life comes with drawbacks. Even the most ideal job has tasks that no one likes. The most perfect marriage has its share of rough spots.  I suffered through  Fox’s 24 last year in spite of the incredibly offensive Janeane Garafalo. In my humble opinion, the positives associated with snow far outweigh the negatives. Is there anything in this life more satisfying than coming in from the snow, shaking the fluffy white stuff off your boots, and sitting down in front of a fire with a cup of hot chocolate or a hot toddy?
If I had to choose between 12 months of hot humid weather, or 12 months of snowy weather, it would be a no-brainer. From the sunlight glistening off the snow, creating imaginary diamonds, to the infinite perspective created at night from the light bouncing off the white snow, it is almost magical. To my ears, the cries of “Ugh, I hate snow” are akin to “Bah Humbug” at Christmas time. If you don’t like the snow, keep it to yourself, or move to Florida.
Tags: Snow Winter  
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Why the family is so important to all of us

Posted by Daniel Neff on Monday, July 06, 2009 2:21:18 PM
 

Let me say first that I am not condemning anyone who is divorced, and I know that divorce will continue to happen. These are just my observations on the issue of divorce and it's consequences. While I can't say what the divorce rate is and whether it is on the rise or decline (divorce statistics are harder to find than a positive review of a Ben Affleck movie), it is safe to say that divorce remains a major problem in this country. My observation on this issue is not about the ethics or morality of divorce, but it's effects on the children, and by association, it's effects on all of us (as it effects society).

The following is a commentary by Alexis de Tocqueville about American public life (in comparison to European public life, circa 1835). His comments are very interesting.

 "Agitated by the tumultuous passions which frequently disturb his dwelling, the European is galled by the obedience which the legislative powers of the State exact. But when the American retires from the turmoil of public life to the bosom of his family, he finds in it the image of order and of peace. There his pleasures are simple and natural, his joys are innocent and calm; and as he finds that an orderly life is the surest path to happiness, he accustoms himself without difficulty to moderate his opinions as well as his tastes. Whilst the European endeavors to forget his domestic troubles by agitating society, the American derives from his own home that love of order which he afterwards carries with him into public affairs."


It would be reasonable to substitute "home marred by divorce" for "European", and "home not marred by divorce" for American, in regards to the above commentary.
"the (child from a home marred by divorce) endeavors to forget his domestic troubles by agitating society"
The contrast is stark. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that youth from a stable home are going to be better behaved than youth from a home that is racked with strife. But the point is that a stable home is just one where mom and dad are there, committed to one another, committed to their children. It doesn't have to be Ward and June Cleaver (from "Leave it to Beaver"). It doesn have to be perfecct. Having worked with troubled youth and their families for nearly 20 years, I think I can comment with some degree of credibility on this issue. The vast majority of teens we have worked with that are "troubled", juvenile offenders, struggling in school, come from broken homes. There have been scant few troubled teens that have come from a home where the original mom and dad are still together and in the home. These kids either live in a single-parent household, or they live with mom and the live-in boyfriend-of-the-month. Of course my experience is not exhaustive (I have not worked with every single troubled teen), but it is a valid sample.

We have even worked with youth, whose parents were together, but in and out of separation/talking of divorce. These youth would do well when mom and dad were working it out and together, but when mom and dad would separate or things would get heated, the youth would struggle. Then, when mom and dad would start to work things out again, the youth would exhibit positive behaviors. The effects of the tranquility of the home on the children cannot be overstated. Of course all couples have good days and bad days, and no marriage is going to be like a fairy tale, but a home where mom and dad are present and committed to staying together is always better than a broken home. Kids get their sense of self from their family. If their family is fractured, they feel it. Kids need that sense of wholeness in their home as a base for them to discover who they are. Lawyers and Psychologists will tell parents, “the kids will be okay, kids are resilient, they're better off in a broken home than one where the parents fight all the time”. I have heard people who got divorced say they regret listening to that kind of advice. Kids are always (99% of the time) better off with mom and dad together.

Marriage is not an easy thing. If it were, the vows would say "for better, richer, and in health, I will stay with you". But that's not the way the vows read, is it? "For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health....til death do us part".


I think part of the problem is expectations. People have unrealistic expectations of marriage in a lot of cases.
I am reminded of a Don Henley song (End of the Innocence), where he says,

“And happily ever after fails,

and we've been poisoned by these fairy tales,

the lawyers dwell on small details,

since daddy had to fly”

I think what he is saying is that people listen to songs or watch romantic movies (fairy tales) and get this impression that when they fall in love and get married, they will live in this fairy tale of bliss and harmony. Then, when they find out that real life is not like that, they give up, assuming that they just married the wrong person. People need to go into marriage with the right perspective and expectations. People need to realize going into marriage that it takes work, commitment, and a willingness to forgive one another. I think if public schools spent time educating kids about marriage and responsibility (instead of how to have sex), our society would be much better off (but don't get me started on that soap box). (This could be done without teaching from a religious perspective)

Another factor contributing to the divorce rate is the fact that people are so mobile anymore (moving from place to place), that they no longer have the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles nearby to counsel them when they begin to have marital problems. The advice of an older person who has been there, experienced tough times (but worked it out and can honestly tell them that it is worth the effort to make their marriage work) is priceless. That is something most of don't have any longer. Without the advice and modeling of family, people are left to take their cue from others in their community, tv, movies. And in these cases people are inundated with the message "Everyone is getting divorced, you might as well get divorced too."
This commentary is not about the morality of divorce, but the destructive effects that we all feel. From troublemakers in school, to juvenile offenders, to adult crimes, so many of the things that disrupt us from enjoying life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness could be reduced simply by repairing the family unit. So many of the ills of our society could be cured simply by returning to a commitment to family..."til death do us part".
 
"when _________ retires from the turmoil of public life to the bosom of his family, he finds in it the image of order and of peace"
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Can we keep this Republic?

Posted by Daniel Neff on Thursday, July 02, 2009 7:54:10 AM
More than any other time of year, this is when we reflect on the birth of this great (once great?) nation. July 4th marks the anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. The most amazing document in the history of man. While it is an overused phrase, the founding fathers would roll over in their graves if they knew what people have done to the republic they created. Then again, they (much more than most in this generation) understood human behavior. Someone asked Benjamin Franklin (after the constitution was drawn up)”Well Doctor, what have we got, a republic or a monarchy?" "A republic if you can keep it" responded Franklin.
And this is NOT, a democrat problem or a republican problem, it is a result of corrupt politicians, people who have not been educated adequately in the heritage of this nation, and......human nature. Congress, and presidents (past and current) have overstepped their constitutional authority and done things, that while they may have seemed like "good things" to do, were in principle, WRONG!
Alexander Tytler, a Scottish-born British lawyer and writer, wrote about the phases a democracy usually goes through, and it usually ends, after about 200 years, in bondage such as a dictatorship.
 
Tytler listed the phases as follows (source wikipedia)
 
  • From bondage to spiritual faith;
  • From spiritual faith to great courage;
  • From courage to liberty;
  • From liberty to abundance;
  • From abundance to complacency;
  • From complacency to apathy;
  • From apathy to dependence;
  • From dependence back into bondage.
     
  • Now of course, this is the opinion of a man, based on his study of history, and is therefore not exhaustive nor absolute truth, but it is useful for discussion. Going by this list of progression, I would say we are somewhere in the "apathy to dependence" phase. With all of our accomplishments in the 20th century we became complacent. That has been followed in the last 30 years with a march toward apathy. People have come to the place where most feel their vote doesn't count and the representatives don't listen to their voice. We are at a critical juncture in our history. We can beat this "inevitable?" progression to bondage, and it appears that many people are ready to rise to the challenge. The Tax Day Tea Parties are evidence of that. Despite the efforts of the lunatic left wing fringe on some networks to discredit good people getting out and making their voice heard, these tea parties have stirred (or shown evidence of an already existing stirring of) that indomitable American spirit that is unique in the history of human government. People are meeting all across this nation to find ways to change the course of this nation, and help stave off tyranny. Some states have starting passing gun legislation and daring the federal government to overstep it's constitutional limits to undo the legislation. Some states have talked about secession. Let's hope it doesn't come to that, but I think there needs to be a willingness to take that direction if the federal government refuses to stay within the constitution. I don't think anyone wants a violent revolt, most people just want this government to be once again, "a government of the people, by the people, and for the people".
     
    Let's hope that Lincoln was right, and this wasn't just wishful thinking:
     
    "and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. "
     
     
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